Facilitators need to ask the key question….the process is to help them to listen and pay attention to why and how they got to this place in their lives. Questions, questions, questions is the way to go. Participants will answer the questions themselves. Facilitator is to be a leader of the group, to keep the group going and to ask the appropriate questions as the appropriate time. Being the facilitator is not about answering questions or even having them, but to be on the journey with the participants.

1.  Check In:  10 minutes

Spend 10 minutes briefly checking in and seeing where things are at with each person. Asking the questions of:

• What was a high for the week—in other words, what was something that was good in the last week?

• What was a low for the week—something that didn’t go as well for you in the last week?

• What are you looking forward to in the coming week?

This is called the Examen. People are spending time, already identifying the life-giving places in their lives and the places that perhaps are life-taking. They are projecting a hope for the future as well. This is important as they reflect on where they are right now, in the moment. This process should not be long—2-3 minutes for each person, including the facilitator.  

2.  Silence:  2 minutes

This gives us a moment to prepare ourselves so that we can listen and hear what others are saying. There needs to be at least two minutes of silence. This might be uncomfortable at first, but it is something that will be come ritualistic in this conversation and incredibly important as you reflect on the sacred ground of your own life, as well as those in your group. Lighting a candle at this time might be appropriate, as the setting needs to be in a place where “quiet” can happen. End the time of silence in a short prayer.

3.  Presentation:  5 minutes per person

Each person has 5 minutes to share their story and how it relates to the question of the day. The 5 minutes that they have are for the person only. They others are only to listen. They can respond and ask the clarifying questions after that person has finished talking. After each person shares what they need to, then there is a time to ask any clarification questions. This whole process takes about 30 minutes, depending on how many people are in the group. Make sure that as a leader, you are facilitating the group, helping them to stay on track with time, and asking questions that will continue helping the individual to probe. You will be setting an example for others as they also process their own stories.

4.  Discussion: 

What struck you this week as you reflected on the resources?

How do the resources relate to your personal journey?

How did you get to the place where you are at? Are you happy with where you are at?

What other resources have been helpful for you as you’ve tried to figure out how you arrived to the place you are?

What’s the most difficult part about being where you are at?

What are some dreams and hopes you have for the future?

After each person has had a chance to reflect and share and others have had some time to ask clarifying questions, it is time to go back into silence.

5.  Silence:  2 minutes

2 minutes of silence again and end this time of silence in a short prayer. This is time to reflect on what people have heard and to reflect on their own personal stories as well. It is a processing piece and time to just be.

6.  Response: 15 minutes

Tthis is the time when the conversation can be more of a dialogue. The earlier presentation piece, is to allow the person sharing their story to tell their story without being interrupted. It is the time for the others to listen and to not always be “jumping” in when they feel like it. We are teaching people how to listen and to be truly valued when they are sharing.

Give the participants time to respond to what they heard, as well as how it related or didn't relate to their story. This is not time to give advice or figure out the “problems” of what might be addressed, but a time of reflecting and responding so that the person can hear and be open to what is being sharing with them. It’s to listen and give encouragement along the way! 

7.  Review:  10 minutes

At the end, ask the participants how it was to share and how it was to listen. What were their thoughts and reactions to the process. What were their reactions to what people shared with them, as well as what was going on with them as they shared.

The entire process should take about an 90 minutes. Of course it can go beyond this, but if time is an issue for people, the process should be kept on time by the facilitator.

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