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Internship
Newsletter: November 2007
Differentiation of Self
From Interim Director Gary Wilkerson
 Greetings to you all!
I have been on the job four months now as your Interim CLI
Director. It has been stimulating on too many levels to identify
adequately. Simply know that the area of "where ministry happens,"
the context, is where we all touch the living God and all of God's
people and creation. It is inspiring and humbling to be about such
things.
That said, it is also important to remember that we are not
perfect humans beings and, therefore, we are ultimately in need of a
savior. The following is a handout I use in my
Foundations of Pastoral Care and Counseling
class, and I recently used it at an Internship Cluster meeting at
St. Bede's, Eau Claire, Wisc. It led to great, collegial discussion
between the interns and supervisors. You're welcome to use it as a
discussion topic between supervisor and intern or with one's
Internship Committee.
Be grounded in Christ!
Dr. Gary Wilkerson
Differentiation of Self
Self-Differentiation is a progressive, internal interplay between
autonomy (separation) and connection (togetherness) while
progressing toward developing known goals.
Being an authentic adult is hard work and a never completed task.
The pathway is paved with difficulty and challenge.
To become an adult, every person faces the task of the
differentiation of self.
Not to differentiate is to fuse (the failure to become a separate
person) with others and to place responsibility on others (or on
situations, predicaments, and hurdles) for the way in which our
lives develop. To differentiate is to provide a platform for maximum
growth and personal development for everyone in your circle of
influence.
Differentiation is described in many ways in the following
points:
- Growing in the ability to see where and how I fit into my
family, the position I hold and the power that is and is not given
to that position.
- Growing in the ability to be fully responsible for my own life
while being committed to growing closer to those I love.
- Intentionally developing, at the same time, autonomy and
intimacy. In developing autonomy I set myself towards achieving my
dreams and ambitions. In developing intimacy, I allow those close
to me to see and know me as I really am.
- Being willing to SAY clearly who I am and who I want to be,
while others are trying to TELL me who I am and who I should be.
- Staying in touch with others while, and even though, there is
tension and disagreement.
- Being able to declare clearly what I need and requesting help
from others without imposing my needs upon them.
- Being able to understand what needs I can and cannot meet in
my own life and in the lives of others.
- Understanding that I am called to be distinct (separate) from
others, without being distant from others.
- Understanding that I am responsible TO others but not
responsible FOR others.
- Growing in the ability to live from the sane, thinking and
creative person I am, who can perceive possibilities and pursue
dreams and gifts without hurting people in the process.
- Growing in the ability to detect where controlling emotions
and highly reactive behavior have directed my life, then, opting
for better and more purposeful growth toward my God given gifts.
- Deciding never to use another person for my own ends and to be
honest with myself about this when I see myself falling into such
patterns.
- Seeing my life as a whole, a complete unit, and not as
compartmentalized, unrelated segments.
- Making no heroes, taking no victims.
- Giving up the search for the arrival of a Knight in Shining
Armor who will save me from the life's struggles and possibilities
presented in everyday living.
- Paying the price for building and living within community.
- Moving beyond "instant" to "process" when it comes to love,
miracles, the future, healing and all that God has created in
life.
- Enjoying the water--rather than praying for it to be wine.
Learning to swim--rather than trying to walk on water.
(Posted by Rod E. Smith, MSMFT, on March 25, 2006)
Resources obtained and adapted by Dr. Gary Wilkerson from the
internet by googling “self-differentiation,” Feb. 8, 2007.
Feast of St. Francis, Oct. 4, Blessing of
the Animals 
CLI
Intern Doug Holtz blesses "Sherman" for Holly Mitchell at
Zumbro Lutheran Church in Rochester, Minn., for the
Blessing of the Animals. Doug's pastoral act was pictured in the
local newspaper, the Rochester Post-Bulletin. (Photo
by Ken Klotzbach/Post-Bulletin)
Unique Cluster Meeting
Stewardship was the theme for a unique internship cluster meeting
held October 16-17 at Shalom Hill Farm outside Windom, MN, for
interns and supervisors in the Southern Minnesota-South Dakota
Cluster. CLI Deployed Associate for Region 3 Steve McKinley opened
the cluster meeting, focusing on internship issues for the 18
interns attending along with their supervisors.
Jerry Hoffman, director of Luther Seminary's Center for
Stewardship Leadership led the group through a 24 hour
concentration on how pastors lead and motivate their congregations
in faithful stewardship, particularly financial stewardship.
Presenters included Luther Seminary President Rick Bliese, ELCA
Stewardship Director Ed Kruse, Pastor Glenn Taibl of Incarnation
Lutheran, Shoreview, MN, Bishop Jon Anderson of the Southwestern
Minnesota Synod, Bishop Harold Usgaard of the Southeastern
Minnesota Synod, CLI Interim Director Gary Wilkerson, and Pastor
Karen Soli of Augustana Lutheran, Sioux Falls.
Congregations regularly identify the ability to be a stewardship
leader as one of the primary qualities they are looking for in a
new pastor, yet new pastors often finish seminary feeling like
they have learned little about stewardship leadership. This
cluster meeting was intended to be one way to begin to fill that
gap. The event was identified as a pilot project for the
Contextual Leadership Initiative; it may wind up becoming a pilot
project for the whole ELCA.
If you have questions, please contact Jerry Hoffman at jhoffman@luthersem.edu,
or Steve McKinley at Smckinley001@luthersem.edu.
On Carrying Poop
By Steve McKinley
 I
have previously written in this space about the three mile hikes I
take each morning (weather permitting, which it won't much longer)
with my faithful canine companion Abby Gail, girl Cairn Terrier. We
start the day with that walk, and after dinner we often take another
shorter walk.
I never leave the house on one of our walks without loading my
pockets with plastic bags. The ones the morning paper comes in are
my favorite. Abby, you see, habitually poops in other people's yards
or other public places when we are walking, and any good dog owner
knows enough to pick up the poop. One does not simply leave the poop
sitting there. As a result, I spend a lot of my walking time with a
bag (or two) of poop in one hand. (Insofar as the other hand is
occupied holding Abby's leash, I expect that some of my neighbors
think of me as the guy who is always waving poop at them.)
Of course we regularly meet other dog-human pairs out walking, and
every now and then the human member of one of those pairs will ask
me if I happen to have a spare plastic bag. They neglected to bring
a plastic bag when they left home, and now their dog has pooped in
somebody's yard, and they have nothing to pick it up with. Since I
am anal about this and usually have more than enough plastic bags, I
am always happy to oblige.
Now we get to the important part. I consider it my responsibility to
carry my own dog's poop. I am happy to oblige by giving someone else
a plastic bag to carry their own dog's poop. But here is what I am
not willing to do. I am not willing to carry the poop of someone
else's dog…somebody else's poop.
Why is this important? It is important because I have noticed that
many pastors have a habit they teach their interns, the habit of
carrying somebody else's poop. People bring their poop to the
pastor, and the pastor, a loving, sensitive sort, eagerly and
compassionately agrees to carry their poop for them. Weeks, months,
even years go by and the pastor carries an ever-growing load of
poop until it all gets too much to bear (I refrained from saying
that the pastor gets pooped), the term "burn out" creeps into the
pastor's vocabulary, and the next thing you know there is a new
insurance salesperson on the beat.
It is important for the fledgling pastor to learn early in life to
recognize whose poop is whose. Among the many boundary topics
interns are exposed to, one of the most important is the boundary in
poop ownership. As you go through life and ministry, you will be
expected to carry your own poop. Sometimes you will be called upon
pastorally to help other people find ways to carry their own poop.
But when you start carrying other people's poop, you are planting
your feet on a slippery slide downhill that can only end badly.
Here endeth the lesson for the day, and articles about poop in such
a holy newsletter.
For the Lay Committee: Thinking about the
Holidays
 Before
you know it, "the holidays," that hectic and joyous period between
Thanksgiving and New Year's, will be upon us and families will be
gathering for gala celebrations, great meals and traditional
activities. That's great.
But for some interns, this could be a hard time. Some interns
might not be going home for Thanksgiving or Christmas for the first
time. They'll be missing out on things "they've always done" and the
people they have always enjoyed these holidays with.
You can't take the place of those people. But you can be
sensitive to the situation your intern might be in and act in a
hospitable way to surround them with your support. No intern should
be alone for Thanksgiving or Christmas. Once the great worship
services are over, the intern should have a place to be and people
to be with. This would be a good thing for the lay committee to be
quietly thinking about this month!
One Cluster Meeting Left
Between Oct. 11 and Oct. 26, members of the CLI staff conducted
eleven different internship cluster meetings across the country.
Only one remains. On Nov. 5-6, CLI Deployed Associate for Region 2,
Sherwood Glover, will be leading the Southern California Cluster at
the Mary and Joseph Center, Palos Verdes.
Intern Financial Stewardship Sermon Contest
 The
Center for Stewardship Leadership at Luther Seminary is sponsoring
an Intern Financial Stewardship Sermon Contest for those on
internship in 2007-08. It is designed to enrich and strengthen the
practice of stewardship in the church by advocating preaching and
teaching that promotes the stewardship of financial resources. The
prize is made possible by a grant from the Arthur Larson Stewardship
Education Fund.
All interns who submit a sermon on financial stewardship as
prepared and presented during the year of internship will be given a
$50 bookstore voucher, either for the Luther Seminary Bookstore or
the GTU Bookstore. In addition, all sermons will be presented to a
committee which will select the prize winners. First place will earn
$500, second place $250, and 3rd, 4th, and 5th place will each earn
$150. In addition, the first prize winner will be asked to preach
the sermon in chapel during his or her senior year.
The sermons will be judged on the following criteria:
- Relevance to today's North American Christians.
- Biblical, theological and homiletical standards.
- Focus on financial stewardship that is reflected in gratitude,
responsibility, generosity and willingness to give back with
increase.
- Call for people to change the way they live in the world of
everyday life.
Insofar as almost every text provides an opportunity to be a
"stewardship sermon," you are encouraged to give your financial
stewardship sermon during a time of year that has no connection with
the annual effort to gather money for the congregation.
Sermons should be sent to:
Jerry Hoffman, Director
Center for Stewardship Leadership
2481 Como Avenue
St. Paul, MN 55108
e-mail:
jhoffman@luthersem.edu
Please include a paragraph describing the congregational context
for the sermon. You may submit your sermons on a CD or as a written
text. If you used PowerPoint and/or video, you may include those as
well. Please footnote and properly document all your sources.
All submitted sermons become property of the Center and may be
reprinted in seminary publications and at the Stewardship for the
20th Century Web site without compensation to the author, but with
recognition.
The deadline for submitting a sermon will be June 1, 2008.
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