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Internship
Newsletter: July 2009
Saying Goodbye
by Jean Larson
Former Region I Deployed Associate Jean Larson wrote the
following article for the June 2006 edition of the newsletter.
It is well worth repeating now!
 Most
interns are into the final stretch, with two months or less to go.
Now, two months is a good, long time - it's the better part of an
academic term - and many of you are busy with special summer
programs and finishing internship projects and covering for
supervisors on vacation. But it's not too early to start thinking
about and preparing for a good goodbye, so that the work of closure
is honored.
It's not just "the work," of course. It's the relationships that
have come alive this year - the widow whose husband's funeral was
your first, the confirmation kids who drove you nuts and brought
forth your most creative efforts, the person on your committee who
gave you confidence, your supervisor whose warts allowed you to
acknowledge your own and still dare to proceed - these relationships
need to be honored. And so does your heart and spirit. That's what
closure is all about.
 Roy Oswald describes two ways to do it poorly in his Alban
Institute classic, Running Through the Thistles (1978). One
is to soak up all your parishioners' feelings about your leaving,
and keep your own at bay. This is a recipe for depression. If you
don't want to go there, take some time to be mindful about how you
really are feeling about leaving. (If you're mostly happy about
moving on in your call, that's fine. Own it.) Ponder, journal, pray,
talk with your supervisor.
The other poor closure approach is to race through the goodbyes
at the last possible minute. This is Oswald's story, the title
story. When Roy was a little guy, he and his brothers would take the
short-cut home from school, through the thistle patch, often
barefoot. (Who says brilliant church gurus don't have a lick of
sense?) They knew it would hurt, so they'd run as fast as they
could, and then collapse on the other side of the patch to pull out
the thistles that got stuck in their feet. Well, when we leave any
important work and web of relationships, we're tempted to do the
same. We know it will hurt, so we try to get it over with as quickly
as possible.
The wise old coot inside us knows this is a mistake. You might
save a few tears in the short term, but you risk ending up with
ungrieved grief and unthanked thanks, all stuffed inside with
nowhere to go once you're back at seminary or into your first call.
The congregation, too, is poorly served. They're left holding their
own bag of unexpressed thanks and unshared toasts, and, if another
intern is to follow, they might not be ready to greet your successor
cleanly.
The alternative to these two forms of denial is "transformational
closure," a.k.a., practice in dying. (Need motivation?) Oswald says
that the way we say goodbye is a little foretaste of the way we will
die. So he gives us 5 closure tasks that parallel the 5 tasks of
dying well. The first four apply to internship; the fifth to future
parish leave-takings.
- Be proactive, not passive. Start thinking now about the
special people at your site who have made a big difference in
your learning. How do you want to say a more personal goodbye -
a visit? a card? a phone call? It's also time for your
internship committee to begin making plans for the end. New
committees might need a heads-up. Some liturgical rite of
"farewell and Godspeed" should be part of the deal. Check out
the little liturgy on our Web site (http://www.luthersem.edu/contextual_learning/internship/handbook/godspeed.asp).
Talk with your supervisor about his or her plans.
- Get your affairs in order. What loose ends need tying up --
in projects as well as in relationships? Are there any housing
issues you need to prepare for (utilities, cleaning)? A seasoned
supervisor has said that the best way to make sure you will be
talked about for months after you go is to not clean your
apartment. Some interns leave a note for the next intern, the
way President Bartlett did for Matt Santos at the end of West
Wing. Nice idea. (sigh....)
- Let go of old grudges. Do the work of reconciliation. Start
practicing this one, because you'll make good use of these
skills for the rest of your ministry. You could wait until the
last passing of the peace, as I once did. It was OK. But the
Spirit gives us courage, so you might as well ask for a little
bigger dose than I did.
- Say thank you. When in doubt, you can't lose on this one.
Someone thanks you for the work you did on the clean-up project
and you think your work was shoddy? Say thanks. Others say
they'll really miss you, but you know you won't miss them as
much? Say thanks. Having a hard time feeling grateful? Take it
to the Lord in prayer.
- For future reference: Be clear about your reasons for
leaving. This is obvious for interns, although if you're the
first intern at a site, you might need to remind the folks that
leaving is part of the deal. Even so, you might run into some
frustration or even anger that you have to go. See #4 above and
educate.
Goodbyes can be messy. You might even cry. It's OK. Be mindful,
be honest and you'll do ministry even here. After all, "goodbye" is
shorthand for "God be with you." A blessing, at the end for your
people. And for you.
When is Internship Over? 
You in the back row...when is internship over?
When you give your last sermon in the internship
congregation.
Wrong. Over by the windows, what do you think?
When the congregation has its farewell party.
Sorry. You in the front, sticking your hand up and jumping up and
down.
When you move back to campus.
Wrong. Anybody else want to try?
I didn't think so. Here is the correct answer: Internship is over
when all of your evaluation forms have been returned to the CLI
office with the appropriate signature pages. Until that happens,
your internship is not considered complete. That means that the CLI
office cannot tell the faculty that you have successfully completed
internship, and therefore the faculty cannot take action to
recommend you for ordination and you cannot receive your diploma.
You don't want that to happen, do you?
It's Not Just You
By Steve McKinley
 It was shortly after 5 p.m. on Thursday, Nov. 9, 1965 and I was
in a meeting in Connecticut with some other seminary students and a
visiting dignitary. The room seemed to be getting dimmer and dimmer.
All of a sudden the lights went out in what came to be called the
Great Northeast Blackout of 1965. Where we were the power failed
gradually. I remember that when the lights finally went completely
out, everyone let loose with a sigh of relief.
As we talked about the power failure a few minutes later, it turned
out that we had all noticed that the light was getting dimmer, but
we had all feared that the problem was us, not the electricity. We
thought that our eyesight was failing. But nobody wanted to say it
out loud. That would have been embarrassing. To find out that
everyone was having the same experience was somehow comforting. It
didn't turn the power back on. That didn't happen until the next
morning. But we all felt a little less alone in the darkness.
One of the great joys of being a "Deployed Associate" is that I have
the privilege of talking to a lot of great pastors who are our
supervisors or potential supervisors. They seem to speak to me with
remarkable openness because I am no threat to them. I am not a
neighboring pastor. I am not part of the ecclesiastical hierarchy.
I'm just an old pastor who is now a "Deployed Associate" which
sounds fairly harmless. They tell me about financial hard times in
their congregations. Early in the recession, last fall and into the
winter, many of our congregations held up pretty well, but since
Easter many have been spiraling downward financially. Given the
state of the national economy, that is no big surprise, but it
doesn't make life easier for the congregation or its pastor.
Sometimes they tell me about anger in their congregations about the
ELCA sexuality study and its recommendations, an anger that is
driving people away from the congregation. Interestingly enough,
that anger comes from opposite directions in different
congregations. But anger is never pleasant.
Sometimes they tell me about long-standing grievances boiling over.
Sometimes they tell me about congregations that seem to have
unreasonably high expectations for their pastors and are quick to
take out their anger on the pastor. I'm no psychological whiz kid
(OK, I'm no psychological whiz geezer), but I think the economic
downturn feels to many people like God's betrayal, so they are angry
at God but cannot allow themselves that anger so they displace their
anger and take it out on God's representative, the pastor.
All of which is to say to pastor/supervisors and interns - it's not
just you. These are tough times for congregations, and many
congregations and pastors are really taking their lumps. It's hard
for us to say that out loud to each other, because somehow it feels
like a failure (which, of course, it isn't). So I am saying it out
loud for many of you, that these are tough times and there are a lot
of hurting pastors out there. That doesn't make it any easier for
you, but maybe it makes it a little less lonely. And it reminds us
all of the need to be good to each other, to be Christs to one
another.
PLTS Team Building
PLTS students and their soon-to-be internship supervisors gathered for the 2009 Team Building Workshop at the picturesque San Damiano Retreat Center in Danville, California, to get to know one another and lay the foundation for their upcoming internship experiences. They worshipped together, shared meals, discussed expectations and supervisory styles, and addressed the administrative details of internship. The 14 outgoing interns from PLTS will be serving at unique sites all across the country, from rural ministry in Minnesota to Korean-speaking ministry in the greater Los Angeles area.
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Jacquie Berlien shares her faith journey
with Rev. Malcolm Brown of Bethesda Lutheran Church in
Mountlake Terrace, Wash. |
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Taking advantage of the pleasant weather, Deployed Staff
Rev. Julie Josund (in turquoise shirt) and her small group convene outside to
discuss regional clusters. |
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The retreat center never fails to provide a gorgeous
setting for the Team Building Workshop. |
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Future interns and supervisors listen attentively to
information about the internship experience. |
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These friendly faces led the sessions for the day. From
left: Rev. Dr. Julie Josund, Rev. Donna Duensing, and Rev.
Dr. Alicia Vargas. |
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